I'll be in Thailand from the 15th to the 28th. We've already bought the tickets. Now honestly i'd rather my dad save the money for iPhone 4.
I don't feel excited at all; i'm feeling the regrets in me already. I would rather stay home alone somehow. It makes me feel better lying to myself that i'll study when i won't, & go clubbing, stir some shit & do something crazy along the way.
Life like that would be so much fun. Then again, i absolutely cannot give up shopping! I've got my moolah supplier, so i'm getting my clothes & shiz.
As for the phone, i'll make it, someway, somehow. This baby will indefinitely be mine.
I've got nothing to blog about, because all the things that i could have blogged about happened days ago & i'm too lazy to find those stuff in my mind. I just needed to keep this blog alive.
& i love my friends, by the way (:
Enjoy this in the mean time. By Dumbfoundead, Clara, & my baby Jay :} The lyrics are so real. & that's what i love about the song. Sick raps too.
Roll, roll back the clouds Let the sun shine through
[VERSE 1-DUMBFOUNDEAD] There's light at the end of the tunnel I haven't seen it Not all of us become rockstars and ballerinas Even in California the sun ain't always beaming Can't predict the forecast for all four seasons We have dark days Can't make your car payments Workin a whackass job living in mom's basement Some lands never get rain so there's starvation Some only see snow through neighborhoods scarred faces Not everything is set in stone The weather changes It's like god that the devil's trying to entertain us Walked in the treacherous storm and overcame it It is never an easy path on the road to greatness So don't you give me that boo hoo hoo shit We're moving on to that new new new shit Look up into the clouds and watch it blow away Until my problems just go away
[CHORUS-CLARA] When the clouds are in the sky Know that they're just passing by There'll be sunshine Yeah If your days are stormy nights Dry the raindrops from your eyes There'll be sunshine
[VERSE 2-JAY] Everybody works hard for their goals to achieve But like the ocean is sea, man, the motion is free So nothing ever adds up the way we want it to I guess my math teacher was just a substitute Everybody hits a rough patch turbulence in the sky Life's a cow I made a burger And I'm serving it with some fries Gotta make do with the cards that are dealt And though it's hard as hell I know that God will help Cause although I live in Seattle It's not always gonna rain There'll be some sunny days coming up this way Everybody's wanting to see me struggling Running away from pain But I know the wondrous things are coming to visit again someday So no worries I just stand here with a smirk on my face Although I know some people out there throwin dirt on my name But it's all good Still show em some love Cause unlike that girl from the movie I ain't holdin no grudge
[CHORUS-CLARA] When the clouds are in the sky Know that they're just passing by There'll be sunshine Yeah If your days are stormy nights Dry the raindrops from your eyes There'll be sunshine
[BRIDGE-CLARA] I've been a little lost But I'm not colorblind I'll follow that yellow brick road And put my fears behind And on that yellow road I'll find a wishing well Cast a line and in time I know I'll prevail
Because i'm sure you're smiling too, in the arms of our loving Father. I dedicate this post to my junior, Egan Supharta Mercubuwono, who has fought a strong, brave & long suffering battle with nose cancer. Today, i've learned that he was called home to be with the Lord.
God wanted him now, so God set him free.
We've barely talked much, but i could never forget the things we have in common: the love & passion for music & the arts. You drew & painted, pictures i could never have did, colored them so vibrantly they shone in your eyes, the same shade as the morning glow. So cheeky you were, & so full of life too. My heart sinks when i reminisce on those times, but somewhere deep within there is relief & a sense of peace because i know God can now take care of you in our stead. This is for you, Egan.
Wasn't written well...couldn't think.
Dearest friend, whom once i knew, you've came too fast & left too soon.
Words to say, so hard to find, a friend like you is one of a kind.
Though time is eternity for those who love, it's too short for me, it's not enough.
You have fought well, you have fought long, so God has called to take you home.
& i know with God; i can't argue, He just wants too much to be with you.
& set you free is what he did, the pain & suffering; He took you from it.
Now you can walk & run my friend, into our loving Father's hand.
He'll do my job & take my place, to comfort you in His tight embrace.
A well deserving, eternal rest, in our peaceful Father's nest.
Live in our memory & die in our love, take these tears & soar up above.
Goodbye is not the end you see, in heaven i know, again we will meet.
Till then, i will smile at skies for you, because i know you're smiling down on me too. "May the blessing of light be on you - light without & light within. May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great peat fire, so that stranger & friend may come and warm himself at it. & may light shine out of the two eyes of you, like a candle set in the window of a house, bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm. & may the blessing of the rain be on you, may it beat upon your Spirit & wash it fair and clean, & leave there a shining pool where the blue of Heaven shines, & sometimes a star. & may the blessing of the earth be on you, soft under your feet as you pass along the roads, soft under you as you lie out on it, tired at the end of day; & may it rest easy over you when, at last, you lie out under it. May it rest so lightly over you that your soul may be out from under it quickly; up and off & on its way to God. & now may the Lord bless you, bless you kindly. Amen."
Here's something for you guys to admire. BEFORE: (F'kn random but i love my eyes in this picture, check out the folds at my lids :) AFTER: Impressive? YOU BET IT IS!
I did it all by myself, approximately 2hrs ago. Pure awesomeness, yes i am :D The color wasn't what i was expecting at all! Believe me or not, i bought BLOND. Oh you bet your ass i did. I guess that's the problem with black hair. So f'kn black you gotta dye it twice or do it at a salon. But i'm satisfied overall. It didn't look like shit, & didn't sucked that badly. Happy color me hair frenzy :D
every single time. Can't do a vlog now, dad's home & asleep & i wouldn't wanna wake him up with all my raucous blabbering. The past 2days have been a blast, & i wished it would last longer. There isn't much time for me to be having fun right now, considering school's starting on the 19th, & my timetable seems pretty much fucked up to me. I got into Petrochemical Processes, Pharmaceutical Processes & Environmental & Water Technology. I feel like appealing out of Petrochemical Processes instead, after much consideration. Reason being now that i've got it, i've lost total interest in it, & i've forgotten about the reason why i ever chose this module in the first place. But i do know this module has got absolutely no calculations (or so i heard or i was told). I feel like getting into Biologics or Special Chemicals, whatever the fuck that is. But since people are telling me chances of appealing is probably very low, fuck it then. It's the people whom i'm gonna study with that matters anyway.
I'm feeling fucking frustrated with myself right now, & i don't exactly know whatever the fuck's wrong with me. Thinking back, i don't even know what the hell i was doing, or why the hell i even acted that way. Was it for the attention, or was it just out of plain boredom, curiosity, or for the hell of the fun? A mixed of all probably. I admit, i like the attention, but i don't crave it, i'm not some attention-seeking whore.
But even you have no clue either do you?
& i now somewhat understand why people turn to fags & shit: 'cos when you're bored or you feel fucked up inside, it's just something you do. I'm not proud of the fact that i now do social smoking, or that i even hid the fact from my friends, but i'm not addicted, so what's the big fuss about? I know it's fucking hypocritical of me to be saying this since i've always been a fag-repelling bitch who hates the smell of those shit but honestly, the smell when you smoke & the smell where after people smoke & they blow it in your fucking faces is different. Yes they're the same shit anyway, came out from the same source, out from the same flame but, just wait till you try. I'm not promoting or instigating anything, just saying. & hey, i'm human. I make mistakes & i tweaked a bit of the whole truth but don't be raining your crap on my parade just 'cos i did what i did & you guys couldn't comprehend whatever the fuck i did. Everyone had a choice & it's not like i regretted it. If i became a full-fledged addict then i would probably kick myself hard in the head, & i haven't strayed from the person i want to be aight'.
